Infidel

R2 17 Thoughts (with a little 00 Thrown in for Seasoning)

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:36:23 GMT

- The conversation among Chigusa, Asashina and Toudoh makes me think that, if for any reason, Toudoh loses faith in Zero or is killed, there's no way that those 2 would stick by Lelouch's side. In fact, I think the 3 major players in the BK are Toudoh, Diethard and Ougi, because once they withdraw their support from him, I see the others following en masse.

- Well, it didn't take Suzaku long to find his high horse again after the Refrain incident. Him using his foot to push Lelouch's face into the ground was a bit much for me. And boy, Lelouch must have some super duper sibling love to plead like that and to accept that abuse. The lengths that he's willing to go to to save Nunnally, while totally incongruous with his Zero persona, are an intriguing facet of his personality. And I suppose we should expect him to do whatever he can for her; after all, she's the reason why he began this whole operation.

- Lelouch seems to have this thing about taking all of the blame upon himself. (NB his responses to Suzaku when asked about Shirley and Euphie) It's irritating, especially in this instance, because there were mitigating circumstances, and for him not to explain the situations fully can lead to people being misled by what he says. And that's why I can see Kallen asking him if he killed Shirley and him saying yes, because in his twisted mind he did, although we all know that he really didn't.

- I would have liked to see the Suzaku/Lelouch conflict come to an end in this episode, if only because I'm fed up of the angsty "We're no longer friends!" or "You betrayed me!" shtick that's been going on for so many episodes.

- Know what else has been going on for too many episodes? This Kallen captivity thing. Seriously. Either make her useful again or kill her off. Showing her for a couple of seconds each episode does not appease the fans who are used to her kicking ass.

- I would have liked to hear her response to Gino's question about joining Britannia, though.

- I don't think Schniezel gave a fuck about helping Lelouch. I think he gave a fuck about patronising him and making him feel as weak and helpless as possible. I can understand Lelouch's reaction.

- But once again, Lelouch has a plan. Conveniently. It was a good one though, although I still say nothing will top that one when he manipulated Kallen into thinking that he couldn't be Zero.

- Someone needs to ask Lelouch the logic in sending the fake sibling to rescue the real sibling. I don't think that one will end too well. But hey, maybe Rollo can grab Kallen and she can FINALLY DO SOMETHING AGAIN.

- Luciano IS a complete dick. His death cannot come quickly enough for me.

- The battle next episode should hopefully be good. I want an Excalibur for Christmas, dammit. ^^

- Yay for the Gundam 00 season 2 commercial that aired with this episode. Louise as a pilot has me all WTF. Saji with a gun has me all WTF. Could this mean that they might actually be somewhat meaningful this season, or is that too much to ask for?

- And whuddup with Allelujah being all restrained like that? And why no Lockon? -----> Sad Mell. XD

Code Geass R2 16

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:47:51 GMT

- First off, I'd like to preface this post by saying that this was the BEST.ANIME.EPISODE.EVER.

- I'd also like to add that this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Kallen went all Mortal Kombat on Suzaku...XDD Who am I kidding? Certainly not myself. This scene lasted for 30 seconds max, but I had to begin my review with it. I don't care if Suzaku didn't fight back, I don't care if he was going there to apologise to her, all I know is that Kallen finally showed some backbone (instead of cleavage) and kicked his ass. That alone was enough to make that entire episode full of win for me. ^_^ (Chris, I guess this is what that satisfied smirk was about.)

- Gino was very much the gentleman in this episode, helping out both Nunnally and Kallen. I hope this means he doesn't die.

- I demand more Cornelia and Lelouch interaction.

- The signs are popping up, albeit not that glaringly, that the spoiler about the Black Knights turning on Lelouch may be true. Rollo, you arrogant, mug, way to build team morale.

- Slave C.C is just not fun. Well, unless you're a man and you lived in the 50s. I miss old C.C. Can she regain her memories soon, please? Or barring that, die?

- Ooh, so here's another wrinkle in the plot, the issue of Anya's memories. This has made more people believe that the spoiler about her being Lelouch's sister might be true. To me, regardless of whether she is or not, it's not going to make Lelouch suddenly forget about Nunnally and focus only on Anya.

- Britannia is gathering all of its forces into one place, as is the newly created Federation. The big showdown cannot come soon enough for me.

- Thank you, Lloyd, for pointing out the contradiction before I could. I think Nina has gone past the "obsession with Euphemia" stage squarely into the "I'm a crazy, discriminatory bitch" stage and unfortunately, she's deluding herself into thinking that those 2 stages are the same thing.

- Toudoh: real men wear make-up, huh? ^^

- The fact that Lelouch stepped back when the Emperor was broadcasting shows how intimidated he is by him. And as a leader who's just embarked on an ambitious course of action, that's not the image you're supposed to portray to your supporters (It remains to be seen whether or not it was only Toudoh who saw this.).

- Sooo, WITHGOW Ougi and Villetta? Evil, evil writers. I guess we're to assume that some sort of blackmail is going on with Diethard and Ougi.

- Did anyone notice Tamaki's position in the Federation as the list was scrolling throughout the broadcast? XDD Internal cleaning supporter. ^_^ Poor guy can't get a break.

- Seeing all of the Knights celebrate just underscored Kallen's absence to me. I'll forgive Ougi for his absent-mindedness when the topic of her rescue was broached; his mind was most likely on whatever happened to Viletta. But jeez, you were close with both her and her brother, would it kill you to show some concern for once?

- I plan to do this every week until she's (FINALLY!) rescued. Get me back my Kallen! Sheesh, she's been so useless and out of the loop for so long. This is no way to treat a major character. We have 9 episodes remaining. Please, get her off her ass and into a mech so she can resume the ass-kicking on a wider scale.

- Lelocuh was willing to call Suzaku to beg him to protect Nunnally, which again, just demonstrates how much he loves her. Of course Suzaku wasted no time in galloping onto the old high horse and demanded a meeting between the 2 of them. I don't expect it to be productive, there's too much tension there, especially on Suzaku's side. But I think it's safe to assume that Lelouch still considers him a friend, irrespective of their recent history. I can't wait to see what they say to each other, and the ramifications of their meeting. And now we'll all get to see if the Schniezel arresting Lelouch rumour is true.

I Finally Finished Gundam 00's First Season! ^^

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:08:55 GMT

I should be asleep, but I wanted to write my general observations before I hit the sack. I finished the series about 10 minutes ago. ^_^

- Setsuna: he's OK as the main protagonist, but there's nothing about him that has really made me like/be interested in him.

- Tieria: Whooboy, what a man-bitch he was initially, although after Lockon saved him, I began to like him more, probably because he acted like less of a man-bitch then. Maybe it's due to my fighting off sleep for the past couple of hours, but Chris, I did not see whatever you told me it is that would shed some insight into what he is. Because by now we all know he's not human. I can't wait to find out what he actually is.

- Allelujah: I'll be frank; for the majority of the series my fascination with him was solely due to his hotness. XD But I'm really eager to see him in Season 2. I want to find out just who/what Marie was to him, and how he's going to survive without Hallelujah there to constantly save him from dying.

- Speaking of characters being constantly saved from dying, Soma just needs to die. Seriously. I'm fed-up of Sergei always swirling to her rescue.

- Lockon. Sigh. He was my favourite character from the very first episode, and he still is. His death was really sad, even though I had known that it was coming for a while. I don't know what's up with this Lockon Stratos in Season 2, but I've resigned myself to the idea that it's most likely his twin, because apparently the director has stated explicitly that Neil Dylandy did die. *sniff* I'll miss you, Lockon. and Haro, too.

- I disliked the Trinity throughout their thankfully short tenure. Now I hope Nena dies in Season 2. I can't forget or forgive that unprovoked attack in Spain. And Michael was particularly annoying.

- Sumeragi was cool. I like her alcoholism; it's an endearing flaw. Well, for now. I wonder what Season 2 holds for her and Billy, especially when he inevitably discovers that she worked/works for Celestial Being, the group that was behind their old professor's death. I'd also like to know what was that big mistake she made a while back.

- I didn't care about the rest of the crew except for Feldt, and lucky me, she survived. -_- Christina and Lichty's death was sad, though. I had no idea that Feldt was 14 until I saw her character profile on Wikipedia. More than any other character, I'd like to see what's happened to her and how/if she's changed in the 4 elapsed years.

- Wang Lui Mei irritates me whenever she's onscreen. She seems sort of fanatical, and she has this quality about her that makes me think that if the world doesn't transform to her liking, then she's going to go batshit crazy and destructive. I can see her being a baddy in Season 2.

- Alejandro just reminded me of a typical, tyrannical anime villain. I like how Ribbons one-upped him in episode 25. But what's up with that image of Ribbons in the preview? It looks as though he's either cloned himself, or is a clone.

- Graham is just meh for me. Seriously, I don't understand the fandom-wide lovefest. To be frank, I was peeved to see him show up in the final episode; it seemed as though the writers had just realised, "Hey, we haven't used him in 2 episodes, let's bring him out so people don't forget who he is." Personally, I would have been glad to. XD And who does he think he is with that mask? Char?

- How the fuck, and why the fuck did Patrick survive? Blah blah blah, yeah yeah yeah, he's Tieria's foil. Doesn't mean I have to like seeing him show up onscreen; he stopped being funny in the first episode.

- Speaking of Tieria, I totally thought that Regene was him. And I was going to congratulae him for taking the Lockon guilt a little too far and for finally giving up the atrocious pink.

- What was he doing with Louise, though? And I'm hoping that Season 2 will make Saji and Louise more meaningful, plot-wise. I would think that they've both become more mature and darker mentally, especially in Saji's case.

- Ali Al Saachez. Grr. I can't decide who I want to kill him more: Setsuna or "new" Lockon. But he is an interesting character. I like hoe he maintains no illusions about who he is and his

- I have to assume that Marina Ismail will have a more important role in Season 2, 'cuz in Season 1 I don't think there was much substance behind her. I can't tell which pairing would freak me out more: Setsuna/Marina or Feldt/Lockon. *shudder* Here's to hoping that neither comes off. It's just like how I feel about Code Geass. I don't see the need for any romance in this series, at least not now. There are so many better things to fill the episodes with: character development, battlefield action, more political manoeuvring.

- I went on FF.Net searching for some fanfic on this series, but unless I completely missed it, I didn't see any category for this series. :( I'm a sad Mell.

- I'm so glad that I didn't give this series up after the first episode didn't do much for me. Right now, it's battling Code Geass for the title of my current favourite anime. Chris, which one do you prefer?

- The animation is so easy on the eye; it definitely trumps Code Geass in comparison. My only pet peeve is how miraculously easy it was for the pilots and their Gundams to be saved or to gain the upper hand when it seemed as though all were lost: from the Trinity's first appearance, to the Trans-Am system, to Setsuna having a flashback that was supposed to explain the ease with which he sliced that armour in episode 25. Not to mention good 'ol Hallelujah coming out whenever Allelujah was captured or his death seemed likely.

- The music is better too, the OPs have been passable, and I liked the 1st ED a lot, and I absolutely LOVE the 2nd ED. ^_^ Good stuff, man.

- October cannot come soon enough more than ever this year. (My birthday + Season 2 = HAPPY MELL. )

- I'm probably forgetting something, but this is it for now. If I have any more thoughts later I might post them. Bottom line: I really like this new Gundam series, it's making me forgot the cow droppings that was GSD.

Code Geass Episode 15 Thoughts

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 01:17:52 GMT

- This episode was heavy on the C.C. I liked that we delved into her past, and that we were able to find out her wish. It's not that surprising to me; being immortal must only be fun for a while, and then when you get caught in the cycle of loving and losing people, it loses its novelty quickly.

- If it wasn't obvious before, it is now that Lelouch and C.C really care for one another. Case in points: her sending him away to protect him, him pleading with her not to die, and him saying that he doesn't want to lose anyone else that he cared about. We all knew that they did, but it was great to see some blatant evidence.

- However, I still don't see their relationship going down the "smoochy smoochy" route. I'd prefer for them to just be friends; a lot of the anime series that I've watched have never bothered to portray a strong, male/female platonic relationship where one didn't secretly like the other, or hadn't at one point secretly liked the other, etc. If Code Geass can forgo that option I'd be very happy.

- The spoiler about C.C losing her memories was true. Interesting to see how this'll play out. Although, judging from the preview, the writers wasted no time in getting some fanservice opportunities out of it. >,>

- So the Emperor is immortal, huh? Talk about making Lelouch's goal harder. And this means V.V is dead, right?

- So apparently Nunnally can tell when people are lying if she touches their hand? I'd love that power, although I'll pass on the whole "no sight" thing.

- As a Kallen fan, I'm happy that Idiot! did not use the Refrain on her. As a Suzaku hater, I don't care that he caught himself in time to not do it; that shove was totally unwarranted and I still dislike him.

- Why the cliffhanger with Ougi, Villetta, and Sayoko? Meanies. :(

- Yay, I see Cornelia and Kallen in the preview. But jeez, how many episodes has the she been captured for already? Will her rescue ever become a priority?

- I WANT SCHNIEZEL'S SUNGLASSES. *_*

Chris, I read your MST and I ADORED it. I was cracking up and giggling throughout. I mean, from the Suzaku intro (Wrong Methods!), to the random karaoke moments, to Kallen as a sore loser, to the big chocolate experiment of DOOM, to how the characters totally tore apart that shitty lemon, IT WAS WONDERFUL. You need to do more of them, although I realise how difficult that can be, because that means you'd actually have to read the crappy fics you're basing them on, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. XD

Code Geass R2 14 Thoughts

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:00:40 GMT

- I can't wait to find out about the contents of C.C and Lelouch's contract. I NEED TO KNOW. =DD

- Speaking of C.C, who the hell was she talking to? Am I missing something here? :/

- Nice trick by Lelouch to fool V.V into complacency.

- Why is Diethard setting Sayoko on Ougi? Additionally, the fact that the writers made a point of stressing that some of the BK didn't understand why they were attacking the Geass Cult makes me think that they're setting us up for some internal conflict there.

- Boy, Rollo either really idiolizes Lelouch or is determined to lull him into a false sense of security.

- Yay, kickass Cornelia is back. ^_^ I've missed her.

- Suzaku, it's not good manners to interrupt a conversation and then refer to one of the participants by their prisoner number as opposed to their name. -___-

- Also, Suzaku just reinforced what a hypocrite he is. He said in the 1st season that results obtained from doing something the wrong way were meaningless. Cut to this episode, where he basically said, "Screw the methods." -__- He's lost any right to the moral high ground that he claimed to have had.

- But it was nice to hear Kallen again, although I wish her and Nunnally's conversation could have been longer. If there are really plans to pair up Kallen and Suzaku, I'm going to throw a shitfit of epic proportions.

- I can understand that Lelouch's grief motivated his decision to go after the Cult, but I wish he had been able to think it through and attack them when he was a bit more rational. Now the shit has hit the fan, as the episode ended with him confronting the Emperor. <.< Damn CG and its cliffhangers.

Code Geass R2 13 (Spoilers Abound)

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:16:32 GMT

OK, so it's a little late, but it's here nonetheless. ^_^

- If I ever have a kid, I want a maid/nanny like Sayoko. She'd keep that brat in line. XD

- I'm ashamed to admit it, but my thoughts were exactly the same as what Suzaku voiced after he and Lelouch saved Shirley from falling. I immediately thought, It's a good thing that it was Suzaku at the top of this formation and not Lelouch, otherwise they all would have been concrete droppings =D. And lo and behold, Suzaku says something along those lines in the next scene.

- I guess now that Orange has supposedly joined Lelouch's side, we can expect to see Viletta helping out Lelouch now because she wants to, as opposed to just being under the influence of blackmail.

- I used "supposedly" up there because I'm still not sure about Jeremiah's intentions. Initially I was completely disbelieving, but after reading a summary for Picture Drama 5 I'm a bit more inclined to thinking that he's being sincere.

- Shirley's death didn't affect me one whit, although the reason behind her death is quite stupid. Essentially, how it seems right now is that she died because Rollo can't stand being the secondhand sibling. Of course, there's speculation that it might not have been Rollo who killed her, and I think it's somewhat valid; the writers did leave the scene open to these sorts of inferences.

- Where's Kallen? XD

Code Geass Episode 12 and Wimbledon 2nd Week

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 05:05:17 GMT

Code Geass:

- I wasn't too fond of this episode. With only 14 left to go, I would have thought that the writers would have tried to advance the plot rather than give us some Ashford filler for the majority of the episode. I like Milly, but I didn't need an episode that was almost entirely devoted to one of her crazy whims.

- Good stuff in this episode: the return of Cornelia, and Anya's reaction when she was told that she couldn't use her mech to find Lelouch

- Interesting stuff in this episode: Nunnaly going to visit Kallen. I can't wait to hear that conversation.

- I'm not sure how to feel about Jeremiah de-Geassing Shirley. I'd love to know what exactly it is he's up to, but do we really need another "Oh, dear, Lelou killed my father?!" moment from Shirley? I got over that in season 1. I suppose her memories returning were inevitable.

- Does Sayoko have bi tendencies? XD Just asking.

- Shirley/Lelouch. Dammit, Chris, they didn't listen to us and keep romance out of it.

- Sara and Chris, what did you guys think of this episode?

Wimbledon Week 2:

- If the Williamses don't reach the final, shame on them, because they're clearly the most experienced, talented, and mentally tough players remaining. I wouldn't be surprised if Zheng or Dementieva sneaked the upset, but I don't see that happening. They could make it tight, though.

- If Murray beats Nadal later today then I will devote an entire entry to him. =P He took out my wonderful-yet-choking Gasquet, so the onus is now on him to beat that Spanish prick, who I must admit is not actually a prick but it gives me pleasure to call him that because he keeps taking the French away from Federer. I don't think Murray will win, however. Nadal is the fresher of the 2 and has the more consistent baseline game.

- Gasquet/Murray was a fucking incredible match. I wish neither player had to lose.

- Federer should handle Ancic. I like Mario; I wish he had been in the Scheutler/Clement section, because I could see him making the semis from there. As it is, does anyone care about that match? Whoever wins it will most likely be cannon fodder for Nadal.

- I don't think Safin will beat Lopez, but if he does, then I will finally say that he's back. :)

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 19:49:38 GMT

asgaboredandsleepy1
channilover
hibiscus8

juara
kikio_priestess
midoriyuki
miyuki_mina
neptune47
uzuhi
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Nothing personal : with some of you I've lost touch or you update very infrequently, or we share no common ground, as I've stopped participating in the Gundam fandom.

Melissa's Monday in Review

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 19:16:59 GMT

Morning: Arrived back in school for the first day of my last semester and realised how much I really wish it was July already.

Afternoon: Was in Business class and teacher was stating the definition of social goods, that is, goods that can be used more than once by more than one person (aka renewable). When asked to give an example of such a commodity, I answered with "prostitutes".

Evening: Had a lovely fight with my mother, which culminated in me telling her that it's all good and well she seems to care more about material things, because in the long run they'll be the only thing she has left, especially when I finally get to hightail it away from her for college. (Don't ask.)

WEEKEND. I WANT YOU NOW.

:)

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 12:35:01 GMT

Last night my friend Klieon called me and we were briefly discussing Saturday's party. We had danced together a bit, which is really quite monumental, as I usually have to bribe/threaten/blackmail him to even so much as go out on the dance floor.

And then he gifted me with what is possibly the best compliment that I have EVER received. He said, "Melissa, judging from that night, you're going to be excellent in bed someday. I know it."

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Screw You, Monthly Cycles!!

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 14:44:54 GMT

So guess what decided to join me in celebrating the new year? That's right. This fucking curse of God. But don't worry, I'm medicated. I'll be fine. Somewhat. But now it's time for my usual bitch and moan about it.

BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH
MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN

Honestly, if I was the ruler of all biological happenings, I'd give all girls a choice at 15 as to whether or not they'd want it. People like me who don't want any children but yet must still suffer through it until we're like, FIFTY, get the bloody end of the stick. *whines* No fair. *wishes with all her heart that men could get it, too*

I'm still taking my uterus out. So there.

And I DON'T CARE if I'm not being rational. I HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE. Fuck you.

"Swiped From Mah Lovah Kelli*

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 18:35:54 GMT

List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
- Don't say who they are.
- Disable comments.
- Never discuss it again

1. I've known you for longer than most of the people on my f-list, and yet for a long time it hasn't felt that way. I wish that all of the external forces preventing us from communicating on a regular basis could be withstood, and that I may rediscover what drew me to you in the first place.

2. It's been such a joy to be reunited with you, and I honestly do count you as one of the kindest people that I know. If there's one person on LJ that I MUST MEET before my death, it's YOU. ^__^

3. Aww, from the depths of GSO and a shared love of poetry our friendship was formed. I still don't know why we haven't fucked yet. XD But really, our friendship means a lot to me, and there's no one else who can make me laugh in convos as much as you can. ^^ (Yes, yes, this = flattery because I want your green-eyed bod.)

4. You. Sometimes words can't describe how I feel about you, and more often, they're too explicit to say. =DD Don't know how I would have survived this past year without you there to bitch-slap me and flirt. ^^ And let it be known that I'm doing my damnedest to get over you. (My iPod is helping. XD) But it's just...some days you become so nice and then I melt. *__* And then other days you become the jackass I expect you to be and I still melt. >,> I'm not healthy. But seriously, you're a really nice person (even though I know you're cringing at me saying this), and I wish you'd confide in me more, but oh well. *shrugs* Can you believe that I've known you for not quite a year as yet? Sometimes it seems so much longer. Unfortunately. And I think, if I ever had to lose your friendship here, above all, it would be the most devastating. :/ And now I've rambled. *sighs* :( I hope I haven't gone and alienated you again.

5. I love you, and I'm here. (Thousands of miles way, but fuck it. You know what I mean.) I think about you constantly, and I really hope that things get better for you and that certain things don't work out as they seem. I WISH I COULD CALL YOU. ;___;

6. What would I do without you? Such a guiding force you are, no matter how much you say I act older. XD (I STILL disagree. ^__^) You're so nice and kind and warm and generous and fun. AND SOOOOOOOOO PERKY!! *__* You, above all else, remind me that there are good people out there in the world. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR LOVE!!!!!!! I still say their not worthy. LOL Never will be. NO ONE CAN. T__T

7. We went through a rough patch in our budding friendship, no doubt about it. But I'm glad we got over it and even though things still get uncomfortable sometimes (through no fault of yours), I still really enjoy talking to you. It's funny; because of that one incident, my loyalties will always be split. And I think that we both know whose side I'm more likely to be on now, if not because I've just spent more time talking to her than you. And I KNOW she's not going to be happy about this, and I KNOW she's reading it. So no making it obvious, ne? ^^ Anyway, I LOVE our figure skating talks, and you don't make me feel as weird for knowing practically all of their names. (Because you know more. XD) I sincerely hope that your life works out, and that you stop doubting and begin to appreciate yourself. Because I do, and since I'm MUCH taller, my word is law. ^__^

8. My tennis friend. My comrade-in-arms in the face of monthly cycles that come all too often. Had my quote of the year with:

You. I do not believe that it has been 28 days. THEREFORE GO AWAY.

How could I not love you? Also, GET ON AIM MORE BECAUSE THE TENNIS SEASON HAS STARTED AND SOMEONE HAS TO PROTECT ME FROM OVERLOAD. Gah.

9. I always feel as though you get the wrong end of the stick in every fandom that you enter, because they all try to infringe on your ideas or disdain them. But I love how you never let them get to you, and your explicit posts directed toward them always make me all nice and happy. HURRY AND GET YOUR COMPUTER FIXED. I miss j00. ;__;

10. My Caribbean compadre!!! ^___^ Always funnily entertaining and fiery. You only live a couple of hundred of miles away. (Not bad compared to the rest of you who JUST HAD to be born in Europe or North America or the Philipines. *growl*) A visit is a MUST. Besides, my ex-boyfriend still has his balls. Aren't we supposed to do something about that? XD

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 20:03:51 GMT

So what was I doing when the New Year rang in?

At my friend Khalea's party, blowing my back out. *groans* Woke up this morning and I could barely bend down for anything. I don't even know how I got my clothes on. XD

The party was OK. I did dance (more than a little LOL), which I truly believe is responsible for the current state of my body. Those walls can kill you man...

I was right about the whole "no alcohol" thing. Did have apple cider, which is but a cheap imitation. :(

Was reunited with my preschool boyfriend Travis, who has been living in New York for the past decade and really didn't age too badly. T___T

Arrived home at about 1:30, went to sleep around 2. Had a brief talk during this period with a fellow National Youth Parliamentarian who has the same obsession with war as I do. (A pleasant surprise, really. ^^)

Woke at 10:30, helped mom with cooking and wasted the next 3 hours watching Titanic. And yes, I teared up. Expected to, but at least I didn't sob like a bulldozer was resting on my foot.

Hope that everyone is doing well in the new year so far, and that it continues throughout. (Even though I hate to say it, it probably won't. :(

Have no New Year's Resolution as it is pointless; I never keep them, furthermore, I never remember what they were. XD But look forward to me staying away from any romantic entanglements whatsoever, for the sake of my sanity. (And for all of yours too, because you know I'll bitch about it. ^___^

But I will try to be nicer this year. Truly. I need some good karma for once. And I'll try to finally figure out where my religious inclinations lie. Also, I'll finally come to an absolute on a college major, because I'll need to choose the corresponding courses in 6th form.

Ow. Back still hurts. ;__;

New Year^^

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 17:22:28 GMT

You scored as Linguistics. You should be a Linguistics major!

</td>

Linguistics

83%

Journalism

83%

English

75%

Sociology

75%

Theater

75%

Psychology

67%

Engineering

50%

Philosophy

50%

Dance

50%

Anthropology

33%

Biology

33%

Art

33%

Mathematics

25%

Chemistry

What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

*rolls eyes*

Oh yeah, like I needed you to tell me that. I knew I would cash in on anything related to writing or languages. ^__^

Anyway, for posterity, here's my (finally!) final list of Christmas bribes:

-5 necklaces (from my aunt, who seems to have a jewellery fetish, ne?)

-an old lady bag which I would use if I ever went to chruch XD (also from the aunt)

-5 tops and 1 bottom from my mother (who i wish would buy me something else >,>)

-assorted clothes and underwear, including a G-string (HAHAHAHA. Who else but my lovely grandmother would give me underwear with big red lips printed on them? ^_^)

-the aforementioned make-up kit from my godfather Charles, which I still have yet to use and probably never will. But my friend is having a sweet 16 party tonight, so who knows? *shrugs* Mom will probably force some on me.

-my umpteenth CD player, given to me this time by Pat (probably to replace the 3 other defective ones XD) *gives China/Taiwan the finger*

-And FINALLY, WE HAVE COME TO MY FAVOURITE ONE. My friend Devon, who is now the man that I am absolutely certain that I will marry, has given me an iPod Shuffle. And now Melissa doesn't play with anything else. *____* Hey, Shadow, remember the video games dropped you down on the list? Well, ha!!! Another spot has gone. ^__^ Love you too, hon.

I hope that everyone has a happy new year. As I said earlier, I'll be spending it at Khalea's party. Only one thing: no alcohol. Boo. :( Oh, well, I don't think my drinking anytime soon would be all that appropriate...

THE TENNIS SEASON STARTS ON MONDAY. AND IT'S GOING TO COINCIDE WITH THE NATIONAL FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS AND THE EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS AND WHATNOT. =SPORTS OVERLOAD. T____T

In Which I Ramble...

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 12:38:00 GMT

I have decided to start my winter homework today so that I may finish before Sunday.

Quick!!! Somebody slap me out of it!

My godfather Charles gave me a make-up kit for Christmas. O__O Do you think he's trying to tell me something?

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 21:45:45 GMT

You know, originally I was going to write a post about my day today. And now, my conscience won't allow me. This tribute should be by itself.

shawn o'conner
aka. shawny pooh
16
4:29 am
december 25, 2005

Adding to what Rex said:

Shawn, you made Maggie happy. I remember her dumping her old boyfriend and discovering the love of her life, her best friend for years, who had been right under her nose all that time. You made her laugh, you made her bubbly, in fact, you even made her crazier. And from the few times we communicated/flirted, I could tell you were a stand-up guy.

And now my heart goes out to you, Maggie. It really does. I wish things like this wouldn't happen. I wish that people we love wouldn't go away. And I wish that I could be near you and hug you and talk to you and everything. Because being helpless sucks. ;__;

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 01:05:50 GMT

Yay, I don't have to go to Church tomorrow. I promised my mom to set her up with a male prostitute for New Year's, and that did the trick. ^___^

I mean, she's a middle-aged woman. Why didn't I think of that sooner? I feel ashamed.

Seriously, a very Merry Christmas to all of my f-list. And if you ever need a bathroom specialist, I'm your girl. After cleaning both of the bathrooms in this wretched house of mine, I damn well better be.

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 15:57:33 GMT

Who showed to your funeral? by mrclown

Username

Age you died

How you died:

Random heart attack.

Gave the eulogy:

akirou_chan

Cried the most:

sans_hi

Knocked over your casket:

midoriyuki

Wants to have sex with your body:

shadowcell

Is doing voodoo to make you a zombie:

channilover

Is glad that you are finaly gone:

annamaria1989

Will be the next one:

magelet

How good of a life did you have?: 11%

Famous Last Words

I never saw France!

Quiz created with MemeGen!

o__O You can HAVE heart attacks at 1?!

Also, reply to this post and I will tell you what I like about you. However, when I answer you, you must post this on your LJ in turn.

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 20:43:55 GMT

Haha, you see that earlier, wangsty all poor-me-I'm-depressed post?? Well, fuck it.

Just got back my report card, and not only did I rank 3rd in my class, I'm one of THREE people to make the first-class honour roll. *___*

Kiss my ass, math. ^^ Kiss my ass, sandrock. Why don't the two of you go tapdance on Reagan's grave? I am too pumped to even be sad right now. I wish I had some way of releasing all this energy.

Shadowcell, you can stop the bitchslap commencement.

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 19:19:20 GMT

You know, I never thought that I could hate myself more after this summer.

And I really wish that I hadn't been wrong.

That's one down. Anyone else ready to stop talking to me before I become too attached?

*bangs head against the wall*

Stupid. STUPID. Oh, why isn't there anyone online that I can talk to? Fuck.

Farewell so long cause
I was wrong I guess
Farewell so long cause
I was wrong I confess

Ok, I'm back. And I'm not all that sad anymore. I AM PISSED. Shadowcell, I needs some serious bitchslapping. Hmmph.

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 16:40:13 GMT

I'm stating it here for the record, so that everyone who reads this thing will know and be aware of this pertinent fact:

I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SHADOWCELL.

*jumps on him and rapes*

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU. Now tell me, is my love in vain?

My icon rawks.

My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 fickle_flowers a-smiling.
11 sandrock87s a-raving.
10 dragon_agilitys a-swallowing.
9 bloodytoxins a-glaring.
8 akirou_chans a-waddling.
7 anime_babbles a-stomping.
6 shadowcells a-ranting.
5 sapphire annamaria1989s.
4 laying v_siggy_us_hahas.
3 Herzegovinian sonkikyos.
2 chinchilla rex_bandits.
And a iceblue1389 in a durian tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Haha, the shadowcell part is so frighteningly true. ^^

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 23:59:13 GMT

Um, I just want to say that I love all of you. ALL. Especially Dannii and Rex and SandRock. *sniff*

;_; I hate being emotional.

I also hate being forced to church on Christmas Sunday. Apparently mom still refuses to believe that she's the only Christian in the household.

*nods head* That's right. Patonia is walking the "dark path" with me. XDD

EDIT: Fuck, I hate unexpected kind gestures. They always come so...unexpectedly.

^_^

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 17:55:10 GMT

So school finished yesterday, and true to form, I skipped the last day. ^^ It's so disconcerting to realise that I only have one term left in my secondary schooling. And my final exams will be the culmination of these 5 years, I presume.

I'm very happy about my performance this term, although I wish I hadn't waited quite so long to start paying attention. Report card should be here by Wednesday and *shudders* we'll see if my mom and I will be on speaking terms for the rest of the week. =DD

Speaking of tension, unless you've all been living under a rock like I am, you've realised that Christmas is barely a week away. And it's that time of the year again, dammit...Christmas cleaning.

Have I ever told you guys how much I hate to clean? Probably not, because its intensity can't be expressed in mere words. Every year, my mom makes me clean my room. Every year, we get into a fight, because she always finds something to nitpick about. She wanted me to clean it yesterday, but I refused. All exaggerations aside, I just finished my most stressful term of school, knowing full well that my next one will be even more so, and she can't even give me a day to catch my breath? >,> You know, I joke with her and tell her that all she cares about are Grade Is, and that my suffering isn't important. And she never corrects me, not even playfully. I always wonder about that...

And then someone compliments my sister, and she comes home all proud and gushing. Then she says she can't wait to see my report. I don't know about my mother; I can understand the whole thing about being proud of your children, but I sometimes feel like a trophy that she only wants to display when I've done something extraordinarily well. I almost feel as though the only use she has for me and Pat is for something to brag about, and make other parents feel jealous.

I don't know how much merit my thoughts have. I just know that over the past 2 years I've grown to respect my mother less and less. I don't quite know if I should attribute it to just being a teenage phase. One day she caught me by surprise and asked me if I loved her. And I said yes, but I'm not entirely sure if I was being truthful. It's horrible, but I can't tell whether or not I love my very own mother. Can you love someone without respecting them?

o_O Sorry about the tangent, I was talking about cleaning.

Anyway, Patonia, by some genetic malfunction likes to clean, and last night her room got all sparkly from her ministrations. *__* She also rearranged her room. Keep this in mind: Pat is at the ripe old age of 23, and the house is legally half hers. So mom walks in later that night from work and instantly shakes her head, because she doesn't like the fact that her room now looks different. She wants Patonia to change it. Just like that. Just because she, and she alone, doesn't like it.

And there was another time when I was in her room watching tv, and she said that she didn't want me leaning back on her bed. (She doesn't want anyone to sit on it during the day, so I was positioned on a rickety old stool.) She's all like, "Move the stool further away from the bed." And I get irritated, because every time I go into her room to watch TV she comes up with some shit like that. So I put the stool back to its original position and I lie on the floor instead. And she turns off the TV and tells me to get out, just because I didn't do exactly what she asked. And I tell her she has control issues, because how could I be touching her bed when I'm all the way on the floor?

Another thing: I have had to buy my own water carton to put in the fridge. She has banned me from touching what was previously the "family's" one. Her reason? She's afraid I'll destroy it, somehow. And then she tells me that I'll only have privacy when I'm not living in her house. And she wonders WHY I want to escape so badly!! *shakes head*

She always brings up her mother, and goes on and on about how badly she was treated as a child. And yet she doesn't realise that she's guilty of the same things. I think that being brought up like that has given her the tendency to always want to be in control now. And it's for that reason, mainly, that I really don't want children. I don't think I'll be a good mother, and since I already know that, I see no reason to make them suffer. You know, I always though that I wanted to go to college to escape from this island, in general. But now I realise that I'm mostly trying to escape from my family, friends, and anyone who knows me. I want to be anonymous. I don't want to have anyone rigid expectations weighing me down.

I don't have any stupid people on my f-list. Therefore I assume that you all know that the standard method of punishment down here is by beating your children. Everyone, me, my friends, our parents, their parents, we've all felt the terrible pain of a metal belt, or even worse, on our backs. The call it "discipline". I call it savagery. We are the people whose ancestors were enslaved for centuries, and were beaten for the same, over-exaggerated reasons. There's been such talk of us breaking away from the slave mentality, of discarding it and enriching our lives, and yet we practice the same method the overseers used to instill fear.

And I think that's the heart of beatings. To instill fear, not to give us the much-needed discipline. There are people who've turned out just fine without it. There are people who've turned out terrible because of it. And if there's anyone on my f-list who doesn't agree with me, I'll be dictatorial and say this: don't tell me that. I couldn't care less. You haven't lived through it.

Even now, I don't understand it. If you love someone, how can you intentionally cause physical harm to them? How can you be so hard, so cold-blooded, to do that to your own child? Can anyone explain this to me? Maybe I'm different, but I can't hit anyone I love. I can't harm then intentionally. I wouldn't feel good about myself. And what do you learn from these beatings? That Mommy has a temper? Oh, yeah, I've known that for a long time now.

Mom and I were arguing a few weeks ago, and she threatened to beat me. I haven't been beaten since I was about 13, I think. And I told her flatly and truthfully, that if she ever laid her hands on me, I'd leave her in worst shape than she's ever left me. And I meant it. Because if she can be so ruthless and harm someone she loves, I CAN DO THE FUCKING SAME. I think the reason that we clash so frequently nowadays is because I don't agree with a lot of her views, and she instantly brands me disloyal or traitorous for it. Because she's always right, remember?

I really didn't mean to turn this into a long rant about my mother. I mentioned her once, and it all just spewed out. It was sorta therapeutic, actually. I don't feel 100% right now, but it feels better just letting the bitch roll off my chest.

I love these things...^_^

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 00:16:50 GMT

Year in Review

LJ Review of the Year
Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2005. Post your favorite lines of it in your journal, and that's your "Year In Review".

January: I finally got my LJ up and running. Kudos to me! So now, it's time for me to celebrate the opening of the culmination of a back-breaking, pig-sweating two minutes of work.

February: Lastly, I just got word that DemonGod 86 has been banned from the GS forum. *scratches his name off list of idiotic fanboys* Now only about 50 more to go.

March: Now, I don't want to freak out the few people who read this thing, but I just gotta ask: is having a wet dream about the same sex normal?

April: GSN CAN KISS MY ASS.

May: So you, remove your skanky $2 man-whore slutty-ass crack-addicted cunt from my person. If you should ever come near me again, you had better have some machine guns for your protection. Because I'll fuck you up, Cuthbert. I'LL FUCK YOU UP.

June: I try to learn from my mistakes, yet I end up walking the same damn road over and over again. *sigh* What am I ever going to do about myself?

July: Hello, jackass, it's a residential area. Believe it or not, kids do go out on equipment that sport wheels. AND WE ALL KNOW THAT DOGS BARK AND CHASE AFTER ANYTHING WITH WHEELS. Not only are you disregarding the law, you're very possible subjecting children to injuries that COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED. You jackass

August: The bar on the phone which restricted my sis and I from making calls for the past year and a half of the last 2 years is being put back on today. >__> I don't know what she was expecting; it's not like I have anything better to do this summer. ;___; BITE YOUR TONGUE WHOEVER SAYS HOMEWORK!!! T__T

September: I know that if Katrina had been a Category 5 and passed down here, we'd all be sunk. There'd be practically no way we would recover, and even a city such as New Orleans will have a difficult time recovering as well. I wish I hadn't been so thoughtless in thinking it was "just another hurricane", and now I realize its true implications.

October: So now I go to school and hope about 3/4 of my class can catch it, so I don't have to feel like pulling my hair out everytime one of them opens their codnescending mouths. AND NO, IT'S NOT THE MEDICATION TALKING!

November: TEACHERS, IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES REALIZED MIDTERM CLOSED ON FRIDAY AND YOU ONLY HAD ONE MARK!! *clears throat* Glad that's out of the way. ^_^

December: Goddamn this last year of high school. If I'm this fatigued now, how will I survive the working world?

Hmmm, I sound volatile.

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 03:09:00 GMT

Out of the blue I decided to return to FF.Net for the first time in months, and now it seems that everytime I go there I'm gripped by such an overwhelming sense of nostalgia that my stomach aches with longing.

I joined the site in late 2002, back in my G Gundam days. I was instantly catapulted into a community of diehard anime fans, and I thrived off that. I finally realised that the many hours I'd spent reading inside instead of playing outside had sparked in me a great desire to write, and I eagerly set to the task.

The first fic I ever wrote was about 500 words, in the G Gundam category, with Rain and Domon going to visit Dr. Mikamura's grave after the series had ended. My first reviewer (and I'll probably never forget her) was this girl named SporkGoddess, who was (or maybe could still be, I don't know) a prominent Gundam writer on the site. She called my fic "short" and "sweet" and I remember being so thrilled by her comment, and the subsequent reviews. I had doubted my abilities, and their remarks made me realise that maybe I wasn't all that bad. XD

I met people there. There was Akira Gown, a DBZ writer, who put in a good word for my first chaptered fic in her story. She was a really popular author, and I was so grateful that I dedicated a chapter of my story to her. Then a few months later I took it down for revision, and she was so upset. ^^ We exchanged several e-mails, nothing really serious, but she was like my 'mama' on that site for a while. She showed me the ins and outs and gave me fantastic advice.

I talked briefly with Simon, who was touted as the harshest DBZ critic on that site, and with Parron, a really, funky girl who's still there today, although like many of us, not as frequently.

It was there that I met Dannii aka dragon_agility. She had written 2 really wonderful DBZ fics, and I was so impressed that I sent her an e-mail telling her exactly that. XD We hit it off, and we exchanged emails for about a month. Unfortunately, the only thing that I can remember from back then is that she said that her fic titles were based off the titles of her parents' old records. ^_^

That was around mid-2003. I start my last year of juinor high, and the increasing workload, the lack of plot bunnies, and just my own laziness and finickyness took me away from the site for a couple of months. By then I had removed all of my early work, because I felt them to be sub-standard. And now when I reflect on it, I realize that my first fic was probably the best one that I've ever written. ;_; And I have no way of retrieving it now.

But anyway, no more digression. So I returned to the site after some months away, and by then Akira Gown, who was 15 to my 13 was considering leaving. It had nothing to do with conflict with another member; it all boiled down to her never having the free time to write anymore. And I remember thinking, God, if she goes...

And then I entered high school and I became distracted by other activities, both online and real life. I lost contact with everyone, even Dannii, and when I finally did get the time I felt that it would be rude to reply more than 6 months later to an email. In early 2004, I was so shocked at how the site had degraded. It hadn't been flawless before, but there were some categories where the good fics had outweighed the bad, and the otalented, popular authors kept churning out hit after hit. But they had all left. Dannii, Akira, Witchyprincess, Juunanagou4ever, Tellu, and NoselessWonder had all left the site due to frustration or a lack of time for writing. And I remember wishing that it could go back to the way it had been, when the community was smaller and tighter, and everyone got along a bit better. I missed those people who had left, who had been my friends. Now we've all lost contact, or only speak very rarely and briefly. Because it seems that we're just too busy...

I didn't return to FF until spring 2005, rejuvenated by my love for SEED. Once again, going there renewed the old sense of nostalgia and I felt it necessary to actually contact one of the persons who had shared that enlightening time with me. And who else was it but Akira Gown? It was the day before her senior prom when she replied, and I eagerly responded. That was in April. Now half an hour ago I find out that her account has been disabled since May, and was never reactivated. I have no way of ever contacting her again. I think it's a bit too late for us to be friends, but I would like to know how she's doing. I didn't take the initiative in April when she didn't respond because that was when my little depression thingie had started, and I couldn't bear any form of rejection, no matter how involuntary it might've been. Not to mention I was totally involved in me and what was occurring in my life.

A few months later I was on the gundamseed community, and I saw the username dragon_agility. I instantly remembered Danni, and I commented in her LJ as to whether or not she remembered. Sure enough she did, and presently we're even closer than we were back then. It's nice to have someone who was there, and knows how it was and how it is now. As for Parron, she has an LJ, but I think I'll refrain from ever commenting. It's been 2 years, and by now I think it'd be ridiculous to even try. ;_;

My time back then wasn't perfect. But I really, really enjoyed it. It was my first bonding experience over the Internet, the first time that the girl in the smallest nation in the Western Hemisphere had met others who loved anime as much as she did. I do miss it, but now I've been forced to realise that the change was inevitable, as the site became increasingly popular.

I went back about an hour ago, as I said in the beginning. None of my favourite writers are active anymore. None of the stories I loved so much can be found anywhere. I look at my profile, and I look at all those who've left, all whose works helped to enhance the reputation of the community. And then I inevitably feel the aching desire for everything to be what it once was. Maybe it's silly of me, but I can't stop myself from feeling this way. Furthermore, I'm not entirely sure that I want to. I'm glad that I have the memory of my first few years. ^^ Beacuse I won't be returning to write anything there until late June, when high school is finally over and I have a reprieve. *sighs*

I really don't know where this rambling came from. But I figured it's good to get it all out. This post came out MUCH longer than I had inittially expected.